Friday, August 30, 2013

How to get deleted on Facebook by the mentally unstable




















This is what I consider to be the strangest reason why anyone has ever deleted me on the Facebook

It all started when a very hot girl from southern cali posted on her fb that people should wash their hands so it reminded me of the following:



but I was on my mobile at the time and well it can be difficult to post links on it so i wait till I have some 'puter power and i go back to post on her 'people should wash their hands' post but it was gone

:'(

and me being thee Art Holmes I didnt want to waist the thought cause who doesnt
LOVE THEE MACHETE !!!
 ?
 He stands up for the repressed chicanos and chicanos need support just like the rest of us. Especially in southern cali so I post on her most recent status and say this is not going to make any sense for this post but it would have for your previous post.

I then get an inbox message that the link caused this big fight between her and her boyfriend who she vents all her frusrtations at on thee Facebook on a daily basis. Obviously a healthy relationship goin on there. So I question her on this thru several exchanges and then when I say her manly man man is a shining example for the rest of the wimpy wussy fellas in how to be a manly man man she deleted me.

I was very bummed by this cause when she's not ripping on her boyfriend she posts very enlightened comments that are enlightning. But yet she chooseth poorly in that whole love thang.

Heres the thread:

Philistine of thee Augustines 

Your comment on my wall caused a problem for me with my boyfriend

Art Holmes 
April 27 at 11:57am in the foul year of our lord 2011

lol how so?

Philistine of thee Augustines 
April 27 at 12:24pm in the foul year of our lord 2011

Because you didn't make sense when you put your video post on that particular posted subject, when the "WASH YOUR HANDS" post was there and you didn't say anything about it then. .

Art Holmes 
April 27 at 12:31pm in the foul year of our lord 2011

that makes like no sense since i mentioned that it wouldnt make sense to begin with i would have posted earlier with said comment about the washing of the hands but i was on my mobile when i saw the post and my signal was very weak for the tube of u to post so i waited till i was on puter but then update was gone and i didnt want toss the thought which i think is very creative, funny, and clever and . . .

i love thee MACHETE !!! so much.
He stands up for the repressed chicanos.

Somewhere in your comment must be the answer why I am as single as anyone could ever hope to have a nightmare about and obviously your boyfriend is very awesome. I shall work on this as my personality adapts to the ways of the california manly man :) .

Philistine of thee Augustines 
April 27 at 12:38pm  in the foul year of our lord 2011

I KNOW what you mean. That's what he said though.The video was funny..."repressed chicanos" lol.... "WASH YOUR HANDS" is because I've seen so many damn people who work in the restaurants NOT wash their hands after using the lady's bathroom (GAG) Oh, he's not from California at all....he's from NEW YORK~! He came out here only to get me~! .

Art Holmes 
April 27 at 12:43pm in the foul year of our lord 2011

your boyfriend sure does seem like a manly men amongst men of the idiot persuasion. i shall learn from his example of being non sensical in his insecurities .

Philistine of thee Augustines 
April 27 at 12:48pm in the foul year of our lord 2011

 What kind of "man" are YOU to disrespect my partner? .

 Art Holmes 
April 27 at 12:54pm in the foul year of our lord 2011

i dont really consider myself a 'man' cause im very childish cause i still have my sense of humor and not to take things so seriously and considering my last physical this has kept me very healthy. someday i will grow up and be manly man find the republican jesus and gain some seriousness and then die of high blood pressure or some other ailment when i transition into being a real 'man' but this is not one of those dayz

*this when i went back to her page and she had deleted the artie

So unfortunately i did not get a response. 

I BLAME THEE  MACHETE !!! 

So thats the weirdest example I know of why someone deleted me. 
So lesson learned from this? 

DO NOT DELETE the symptoms 
DELETE the root cause.


How to get someone to delete you from their Facebook over the course of 4 days

This originally started as a conversation thread on the Facebook, then turned into a private messaging thread, and then ended up in my Facebook notes for prosperity and now will find it's final resting place here. Again, I apologize for the lack of punctuation and misspellings but I wasn't much of a fan then and also for the pirate speak (which some of you may remember was an option in the Facebook back then, and maybe still is?):

the following is a very lenghty conversation i had with the almost not so typical molly mormon back in the land of lincoln on the border of the cheese wiz who believes she is not a molly due to the fact that soon after this converation she deleted me:

this began when she posted one of those polls showing her love in all her right wing jesus republican glory

Scrawled by Molly Mormon 'round about 2:42 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

I am pro-life. I pretty much take the church stance on it, and Obama is pretty far from that.

Scrawled by Art Holmes 'round about 2:50 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

how so? and what sources do u usually get your info from? im curious cause the church seems very big against sourcing from outside the church which i've never felt comfortable with. and at least since i would consider you a much more obedient member than i since im a convert. im wondering what sources are acceptable and unacceptable when following our president?

Scrawled by Molly Mormon  'round about 3:18 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

Boy....I am having trouble keeping up with you on this...I just don't seem to have the time.....but I will say I am a convert too. What do you mean by "sourcing from outside"?

Art Holmes

i've been in the church almost 3 years and there seems to be this unspoken rule that any sources that do not come from within the church or are not approved by the church we are to stay away from. i tend to call this the walt disney, republican, country music conversion dilemma of carbon copies and since i was 32 when i joined im pretty sure im not that type of a person and its a huge regression for me to go against something i feel so strongly that im not. are we allowed to watch msnbc, cnn, or is only fox news allowed? are books written by non members allowed? am i allowed to hear both sides of the argument and go with the one that i feel is right even if the church is opposite in their beliefs. do i have to support prop 8 in order to be a good member? do i have to kill off what is authentically me? i guess when your not married with no kids you have a lot of time to ask yourself these things lol

Scrawled by Molly Mormon 'round about 3:38 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

Hum? Insteresting thought on things....not all people are republican....get to know people before you put them in the "bubble". You are supposed to figure things for yourself. Don't always do things logically....more from the heart, well at least in my opinion.... Since I am one of those with kids...off to piano lessons I go. I love to repond to more of your post...but maybe another time, and do remind me...I do have a lot going on and tend to forget....I do also have STRONG opinions that tend to dffer from others, and do love to hear what other peole think....even though I sometimes get very stired up about it. As Kris would say....I love to let people know how wrong they are....even if it is just an opinon. BUT if you are going to logically play devils advocate...not interested.

Scrawled by Art Holmes 'round about 3:52 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

being a mormon democrat is a bit like being a gay republican. at least that has been my experience so far. alrighty would like to know your position on abortion, prop 8, if you were for obama during the last election, and if you have differing opinions that the church has and what those specifically are. if i have any hope of avoiding outer darkness these insights would be most helpful especially since my priorities do not involve marriage, kids, and polygamy in the eternities.

Scrawled by Molly Mormon 'round about 5:09 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 5 in the foul year of our lord 2009

ew this could be fun. I do believe that there a few senaters that Mormon's and democrates....or at least that was the case a few years ago. Abortion-rare cases, when the mothers life is at stake and when the fetus has no chance at life, etc. and maybe a few other times. Prop 8-I always got confused about the yes and no thing, so I do believe that yes the constitution should be amended to state a marriage is between a man and a women. That is what marriage is about! I was not for Obama in the last election. AND I am laughing out loud at the fact that you said "if I have any hope of avoiding outer darkness" my insights are just my insights. Too funny. Question for you.....you beieve the church is true? Or at least that is what I am guessing if you choose to be a memeber....yet you believe things that are different than church views? So curious?

Scrawled by Art Holmes 'round about 10:54 in the mornin' Merry Month o' June 6 in the foul year of our lord 2009

harry reid is a mormon democrat but hes the only 1 that im aware of. there are things with the church that are very parallel to my own spiritual intuition of what i feel to be true. pre-earth life most definately and how we treat our fellow human beings (prop 8 being an exception) but coming from a background in pshychology and philosophy there are things that are quite disturbing to me. polygamy from the original church i feel is an incredibly damaging viewpoint and the main reason i think joseph was persecuted so heavily, the reasoning why it was banned in 1890 from the church perspective as being something thats just 'on hold' for the moment but we as men cause thats what we are lol have to take this up again when we get to the eternities, temple marriage to get into the celestial? or highest kingdom and having kids as well. plus i honestly dont know with being a convert so late how i could make that kind of marriage dynamic work with the wife being a homemaker?

i hate to point out an example of a church couple but its been bothering me so this is 'off the record' but would like your opinion. when i joined there was a fella who joined about a month before me. single no kids about to turn 50. a year later he met a lady on 1 of the lds dating sites and about 3-4 months later they were married. i've always felt people in the church seemed to get married way too soon in the church and especially with women just out of school it seems to be their duty to get married before their 22 and then become this baby making factory. philosophically and psychologically theres a saying that your 20's are to figure out who u are as a person and your 30's are the time to start a family and have kids. also when you get into a relationship it takes about a year to really get to know someone cause your brain is firing off all these feel good endorphines and your chemically imbalanced. so the first year my church couple friends were married they were very giddy with each other. the kind of thing when your single and hopeless can drive you a little batty. now they seem to be in their terrible twos and bickering a lot plus they're trying for a baby. she's been taking feritility shots and has had a very bad physical reaction to them. plus shes almost 50 and it pains me to see her go thru all that cause shes super nice lady. i really wish they would adopt and i cant help but think they're trying for a baby as a church obligation. i've seen this kind of weird acceptance with the younger couples pre child and post child so again something im a bit disturbed by when these are not exactly goals of mine. as far as me believing the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the church i've got a long way to go with that. i dont know if you were at church when i gave my talk but i did it in a way that doesnt sell out my spiritual beliefs and coming from a very different perspective. everything i said in that talk i believe in 100%. i posted it in my notes section so if you want to go back and find it it would make some of more basic beliefs a bit more clear.

Scrawled by Molly Mormon 'round about 12:42 in the evenin' Merry Month o' June 6 in the foul year of our lord 2009

Man I am not for sure how to comment on that. Love the couple that you are talking about. Don't know them very well but I do like them. Kris and I were engaged 2 weeks after meeting....and I was 21. Guess I managed the 22 age limit huh? LOL. Marriage is tough, hard, and worth every bit. ..... this is hard to explain over the facebook thing. Maybe we can catch uo some other time.

I remember hearing you talk from the mother's lounge. I loved it! I thought that it was very well thought out and presented. Sorry I didn't say so when I was at church. I tend to be quit shy around those that I don't know.

What are your feelings about the same things that you had asked me about? Abortion? Prop 8 and things.....

Art Holmes Merry Month o' June 6 roundabouts 12:47 in the evenin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

thanx. im a pro-choice in the same way u are. life of the mother, complications in pregnancy and development, incest, rape. I'm not for laws that make it necessary to get your parents approval if your underaged. there are a lot of circumstances where i c it as a necessary evil and c it also as a safety issue. it saddens me that its becoming increasingly difficult for women to obtain one.

prop 8. i c gay marriage in the same light as civil rights in the 50's. im very for it since its coming from a place of love and being against seems to be coming from a place of hate and discrimination and also it has no direct effect on my life so i dont c why a gay couple whos been together for 20 years should have less rights than britany spears who can go off to las vegas and get married for 55 hours. in todays world if your for gay marriage its like being accused of being gay as like being lover of black people in the 50's. today most people see that as being ridiculous and laughable and voting for obama on this reason alone and him winning made me an emotional mess the day after the election. very fortunate to have been alive for that.

Molly Mormon Merry Month o' June 6 roundabouts 5:18 in the evenin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

My heart aches when I hear people saying that abortion is okay. Long before I became a member I couldn't imagine someone choosing to destroy a life....or even the potentional for a life for no reason. I look at my own children and can't imagine someone wanting to do that when there are so many people out there that can't have children of their own and would need to adopt. There are times in life when people get them selves into situations and abortion is just not the answer. Face up to thing and do what is right. I believe that a minor should have to have parental permission, I also belive that a person should go thru some kind of counciling before being able to. AND that is only if it is legal to do, I really do think that it should be illegal, except in the cases that we have talked about.

I didn't vote for Obama because I don't feel that he is qualified. One thing that I do love is how unified the country seems to be behind him. At the same time I catch myself controdicting my own feelings when I say that, I hate that he is the type of guy that has a beer wtih his friends a B-Ball game. Seriously....when did the office of President of United States get to be such a casual office position. I think Miss America would loose her crown if she did that. I do hold the president to be an examplor for everyone and I don't feel like he is.

Overall, I love the fact that we have a Black/African American president....I just don't like him.

Art Holmes Merry Month o' June 8 roundabouts 7:50 in the evenin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

The i want to have a beer with that actually came from bush and carl rove and the type of image they were going for and really didnt understand why people would vote for him cause of his clearing brush capabilities.

My definition of pro-life is abortion should be illegal no matter what. If its illegal then thats that and no one regardless of the circumstance is getting one cause its illegal. As difficult as it is to get one its kind of like saying the south won the civil war because you cant get elected president unless you carry a southern state.

With parental consent i cant imagine being in a circumstance where your raped by your father and then having to get his permission. For some odd reason the movie 'china town' comes to mind. You'll have to forgive my stream of conscousness i have a bad weakness for the brilliance of family guy. lol anwayz. . .

What was your age when you became a member? Why did you become a member? How did you know after 2 weeks that it was marriage time? How long were you married before your first child? Have you found your dating/enagement/marriage/to child transition to be the church norm timeline?

I just dont like him? Reminds me of something i read in wayne dyers first book about how its unrealistic for everyone to like you. Are there any other issues you feel obama is off the mark with? How would have mccain (aka bush's third term) been better? How do u feel about romney? Did you think bush's reading of 'my pet goat' after the 2nd plane hit on 9/11 was an acceptable reaction? Do you think we would have went to iraq if 9/11 hadnt of happened? Do you believe in global warming? Is al gore out to lunch? is anything that ann coulter, bill o reilley, and glen beck (who is mormon and u can check out his conversion story on utube) say acceptable? Do you think in the '04 election it was a wise tactic to say that Kerry was not a war hero because he didnt die in vietnam? What feeling do you get when you hear the name Michael Moore? Do you think Sotomayor is qualified and or a racist? should i feel guilty about watching saving private ryan on TMC to comemmorate D-day saturday or band of brothers or schindlers list on VE day? should i be loving the movie pearl harbor cause its a walt disney movie and walts wife was mormon even tho walt was gay? creationism or evolution? should creatonism be taught in high school? whats the difference between evolution and intelligent design? how does science differ in its purpose from religion? What do u feel is the greatest evil in the world besides me plaguing u with all these questions?

sorry just curious and brainstorming off the top of my head for variety and conversational purposes. i would be stunned if you have an answer im not expecting on any those. i had a bunch yesterday for my home teacher such as prophecy vs history from one of the testimonies that was given and how it applies to the book of abraham and the why and how of that books creation. this outer darkness destiny is ridin on my shoulders because of my 'black hole singularity' church status and for the life of me just can not seem to fit into a mold that goes against what i feel in my heart and difficult to put my head around certain concepts that i must believe in to get celestial glory even tho it would be a serious regression of everything i've learned from life experience the previous 3 decades before i joined. and cant stop thinking about what movie sister boyer deemed inappropriate? what music i need to be listening to? or if there any other acceptable tv stations to watch besides byu and would it be a sin to switch over to digital because i can only get it on satellite? should i be reading anything that doesnt have that chruch stamp of approval? is ignorance really bliss?

Molly Mormon:

This one could take me all day, with dealing with the kids at the same time. Just so you know......you sound kind of attacking....but I am not takling it that way. I am assumiing that you didn't mean it like that. I tend not to get offended easy at all.....so if you are trying to do that please spell it out! ;o)

First off I need to say that I have trouble staying on top of things politically. I don't find that I understand a ton of it, and that I really see things from both sides a lot of the time, then tend to lean to the more conservative side. So here I go with what anwers I do have.

We have the same views of abortion except the parental permission thing, I also agree with you with incesent case, We don't live in a perfect world and I think that someone else should be able to step in cases like that. If a girl can find a place to get an abortion I am sure that she can find the police, or social workers to help with the father situation and he rights would not matter at that time.

I have watched family guy once. I laughed at it, and then felt discussed with some parts....so I havne't watched it again.

I was 18, long conversion story! I mean long! I don't know I should write it here and take up the space or get on with the rest of the questions. BTW I am not going to take the time to read over this and make sure that it makes sence with grammer or spelling. At times my fingers don't move as fast as my mind and things get jummbled up in the the text. I really hope that it is readable. Conversion short story, I had been friends with members all my life....I moved A LOT. As a child I thought that it would be fun to go to church with my friends but my very democratic family would not let me. In high school I had a great mormon friend and my family was investigating a multitude of religons at the time. NEVER the LDS church. My mormon friend, Eric, invited me many times to join the family for dinner with the missionaires.....we had a very easy-going friendship and I would always show up after dinner, just walk in and of course the Missionaries had already left. The summer between my 10th and 11th grade my dad decides to put of sunny CA ranch house up for sale in a recession and it sells in a week, so he decides that he has great job opportuntiy in Utah and that is where we are headed.....NO THANKS . I told him under no terms was I moving to Utah and going to school with a bunch of mormons. NOT HAPPENING. So I ended up finding the family a place to rent and he agreeded to stay 1 year. I didn't want to move my senior year either so I worked hard and graduated a year ealy and then they never moved....fastforward a couple of year. Now I am dating a semi-active LDS guy and we get into an agruement about some of his activites that I am questioning.....wondering if they were church standard type of things....his response is "you're not a member why in the hell should you care!" So I left crying....I was asking question out of curiousatity and he didn't want to share. So I went to Erics house for answers.....he said come meet the missionaries. I said no, so he decided to answer all my questions for me.....I asked question after question after question.....I talked for a straight 3 hours. At the end Eric couldnt' answer my questions so I agreed to meet with the missionairies. The first question was "Do you believe in God?" and my answer was "I don't know." I was thristy for all the imformation and drank it up, trying to get every detail that I could. I really questioned EVERYTHING. BUT once I decided to figure out if it was true of not, and decided that it was I was signing up for the entire thing. I couldn't possible imagine that just part of it was true.....it was all or nothing. To me it is all....every little detail. So I don't go and look for thing to despell the truth. Simple faith, and it is exponding and I do still ask question. AND I have been told that I give the first impression of molly mormon, and I have to laugh at that. Laugh HARD. BTW boyfriend broke up with me, and then when he found out that I was getting baptised tried to be us again.....even pretty much proposing.

Next question.....engagement after 2 weeks, impulsive? Kris is not my type. We are opposite in many many many.... ways. Marriage is hard, and maybe even more so since we are so different. BUT it has worked out well. How did I know? Really hard to say..... I can't say that I prayed hours over it, or that it was a supper hard thing. Did pray, yes. I knew then that he was going to be a very good thing for me. VERY GOOD. Looking back at things he is very balancing for me. Allowing me to think that I run the show.....and really he does. Here is his thought on things....maybe you have heard this.... I get my way 95% of the time and he gets his was 100% of the time. He only cares about that 5% and he normally ends up being more subborn than me....even though he will say there is no way that is possible. Am I going into too much?

Next question.....married in March pregnant in April. It was a week long discussion of it. HE wanted to wait a year, and I was baby hungery. Not just a church thing, most of my family does the married young and babies young. I was 22 when I had Elaine. Do I feel like I missed being just a married couple? Sometimes? BUT the plan was to be young, have kids young, enjoy grandchild young....enjoy retirement with young kids. So I guess you can say that the timeline does seem to fallow the tradtion church norm.....but not for that reason.

Next thing....Obama. I think I would like him for a nieghboor. Not a president. I think that he is idealistic on what he can do. I believe that I have higher standards for that office than what he has demonstrated. Bowing to a king?? I don't know that I would say that I loved McCain because I didn't. BUT boy was he ever tenasious (sp?). I was so PRO-ROMNEY. Not just the church thing. He really is a good businessman. AND I felt that not only was he a republican....he would have been good for the economy. I have family that is so strongly democrate, and yet they voted for McCain over Obama....because they just didn't seem him as qualified. Don't even know what the 'my pet goat' thing is that you are talking about. Like I mentioned....not much time in my little world. Global warming....is something happening OH YEAH. Does it have to do with all of the gasses and stuff? Sure. Does it have everything to do with it....not so sure. I am sure that it does play a factor. I also see things that are happening as signs of the times. Don't know wh bill o reilley is, I have heard of glen beck (isn't he the one that did the money graph not too long ago?) Just figured out who ann coulter is.....read her book "if democrates had any brains they'd be republican'. I didn't understand much of it. She quotes a lot of things in it. AND if you don't know what was going on at the time it was hard to understand. BUT funny. Kerry, I thought that debates between him and Bush were histarical! He is very well spoken, then you had studdering Bush, who looked clueless. Kerry is what my learly of the democrated party. Nothing to explain it by, just gut feeling. Do I think that he doesn't qualify as a war hero? Let's not go there, my little brother is soon to be off on his second tour in Iraq......he just turned 21.....I have heard stories that people his age should never have to experience. So I have no opinion on Kerry and the V. war. Sotomayor...new judge right? Didn't know her before, havne't had the time to investigate, and I think a lot of things are tanted one direction or the other. BUT what was thought of as a racist comment....come on! Why does everything that we say have to be taken under a microscope? AND at the same time.....being in her position she should be very careful at what she says. Creation over evelution.....hello! Yes if they present one side, they should present the other in school. You have to learn about all the other religions in history why not that one? Micheal Moore....I laugh, I find him personally funny. Interview wise and things. I haven't seen a movie in years! We are just now starting to see them. So I haven't had much of a chance to see any of his work. Maybe I will had one onto the que in Netflicks. I saw Private Ryan....loved it. Felt it, is a better way to put it. Band of brother, and schindlers list I haven't seen. My brother says there is movie with Tom Cruise....something about the Lion and the Lamb that is perfect for his job, or that is what he does? Have you seen it? You should not love a movie BECAUSE it was a walt disney movie. Love it for the movie itself. Greatest evil in the world...hum? Tough one. What do you think? I am a simpleton......lack honesty, lack of integrity, I think most evil starts there maybe? My husband would say appathy...that people just don't care.

Hah....I think my answer page is longer than your question page. Love the questions. I almost wish I had better answers for you, I really am not too politcal, and catch myself even talking about it because I don't feel like I know enough. BUT when I do see things, they really stir me up! I have a big opinion on your outer darkness therory. GET OVER IT! I know harsh huh? Seriously...this is not ment to sound rude, but no one cares. People like you for you, and people should never look down or give you a hard time about these things.....unless of course they are doing it jokenly. BUT we want everyone to be as blissfully happy as a married couples....j/k. REMEMBER what you have learned the past 3 decaded was worldy views, and now you have a chance to learn other views and consider both sides.......from the heart and not just logically....like I know that you are doing. It would seem hard if you have these contradiction between church views and your views. This is how I look at it.......the church teaches that we are to investigate and ponder things and then decide for ourselves.....you are deciding for yourself.....let everything else role off your back like water on a duck. Pull yourself out of your own spiril.....no one else wants you there. BTW who is your hometeacher? I want to know what movie it was too.....didn't you say Night at the M. ? AND that almost makes me what to see if more. BYU TV, I am so glad that I have it......Conference in my PJ's is great. AND seriously that is about the only time that I watch it. Would I be a better person and feel better about things in my life, and get a better understand of gospel things if I did watch it more? More than likely, yes. BUT I am glued to CSI, Crimal Minds, Bones, and others like it.....are those church standard? Man do I have a long way to go.

So now that I have cover most of your questions.....do you feel that my answers where those that you were expecting?

SO an addition....I just tried to send this and facebook told me that my message was too long.....I needed to shorten.....don't give me so much to reply to next time.... LOL

Art Holmes

thanx for such an honest reply. i wonder if its cause you were a convert and not born into the church. i feel my talk was a lot more powerful cause im a convert and come from a very different background. i have so much more respect for you as its so easy to see people at church who are our age and all come off as the same person making it difficult for me to have a legitimate meaningful conversation with them. i'll write more later so i can ponder some of the things u talked about it. i'll send you my conversion story. i typed it out a couple of weeks ago. may find it interesting.

WHY I JOINED THE CHURCH

In 2004 my mother had a stroke. During this time I was living in south beloit and had been laid off from my job and my unemployment was running out. My brother had just been evicted from his home of the last 12 years and mother and significant other were being strapped financially due to mothers stroke. My brother came to stay with me during that summer and by the fall mother and boyfriend were interested in moving in to save money and to help me stay afloat.

So by 2005 my living situation was me, mother, mother BF, and brother. I had managed to get a job at the end of 04, mothers BF was working, and my brother was well my brother. If it hadnt been for him the year of 2005 would have been really special and living very very well but instead it turned into a very valuable life lesson on how damaging negativity is and my lack of having a support network to deal with brothers alcoholism.

My father passed away on september 12, 2002 and never got along with his oldest son. His saying was 'i love him but i dont like him very much' I had to go to belvidere to pick his stupid drunken ass up which took about 4 hours and listening to a lot of bullshit from him and his reasonings for getting wrecked. For someone who for years before dads death would get drunk and bitch and complain about how father was not exactly father of the century and how tough he had it growing up i would have thought he would have been happy with dads passing but instead i had to put my own mouring on hold and deal with him. I've already told my sister that she is babysitting and keeping an eye on him when mother passes away cause i am not dealing with it.

Back to 2005. So brother is not working and i'm working 2nd shift and somehow he manages to always score beer money. he can get totally waisted on about 3 dollars. and i would have to deal with this stuff. mothers Bf would do his best to deal with it but brother man was pretty much stuck on the couch for that year. I on the other hand had no one to actually talk to with dealing with such negativity and by the end of the year had come to the conclusion that my brother was in my life for the soul reason of learning how damaging negativity is to ones spirit and well being. It didnt help that at work I had been promoted and was dealing with people who didnt speak english and a front office who had no idea how to do the job i was assigned to do and sending me in completely opposite directions of what the shop foreman needed and leaving me not accomplishing what i needed to accomplish on a daily basis. i only took the promotion so i could work first shift. i really should have stayed on 2nd but the heavenly powers that be must have had other plans for my life. in january of 06 i quit and went on a very emotional downward spiral of hopelessness. in may of that year mother and bf got their own home and brother man went with and i was left running out of money, not able to land a job, and worst of all most of the people i knew were on a level that for me there was nothing about them that was enlightning, or insightful, and basically just very toxic to be around.

So june of 06 im at home and get a knock on the door and these 2 sister missionaries did their schtick and asked if they could come back and since i was dying for conversation that actually had some substance i said sure. I had developed a fascination with philosophy about a year before they knocked on the door. Mainly due to my fascination with the matrix triology and what does the whole concept of life mean anywayz? So the conversations i had with the missionaries was something that i desperately needed after dealing with my alcoholic brother for the last couple of years before that.

In 04 when i was out of work i had some jehoviah witnesses come to the door and then would come back and give me some lit and was always very nice to them but the mormons definately have a system of bringing you into the church that is really unparalleled. The missionary training center in utah should be a required business course. And it helped that I was fiening conversation on a meaningful level and was vulnerable from dealing with the my brother. So a couple of weeks talking to the missionaries i went to church and loved the structure of it. 3 hours. the first hour sacrament, the 2nd hour everyone goes into other groups that best suits them. So its not the cries of a bililon babies it is the first hour. and third hour is a segregated priesthood (male), relief society (female) breakdown. And i felt after my first time there that it had a very advanced placement type feel to it and you learn a lot faster than just going for the basic singing and a sermon that i was used to going to.

Was babtized on july 1st of 06 and spent the rest of that year getting aclimated to the church but not once did i ever consider conforming a 100% Since I joined in my early 30s I already had a good idea of who i am as a person and told the missionaries that under no circumstances am I going to become a republican, country music lovin', walt disney watchin' member. they said no problem.

My closest friend in the church joined a month a before me and was just about to turn 50 and was single. A rareity for that church. but he is someone who has really 'converted' to the mormon ways a lot since he joined. He met a women on line on one of the LDS dating sites and got married in the fall of '07. They dont waist time in that church and i think it has to do with their beliefs on 'be fruitful and multiply' and no sex before marriage or living together or basically being in a non marriage relationship that has anything to do with reality of what it is to be human. I've always felt the dating to marriage transition in that church is way too quick and my friend getting married is a great example of why. The first year they were married they were very giddy with each other, laughing, playing around, the kind of thing that when your single and hopeless drives you up a wall. Now they seem to be in their 'terrible twos' and bickering a lot with each other which I completely expected. And to top it off their trying for a baby and she's almost 50. She's going thru fertility injections and has had a really adverse physical reaction to it. I really wish they would look into adoption cause she's really nice and it pains me to see her go thru that. It feels like with the church your not really accepted until you get married in the temple and your wife pumps out as many units as she can. There are a lot of parallels with the mormons and what the duggars of the show 18 and counting are into with the whole 'quiverfull' thing.

Basically the beliefs of quiverfull is that in biblical times when you were being oppressed by the powers that be and you couldnt come up with people to overthrow those powers you would breed your own army. In the modern day quiverfull version its meant to populate to such an extinct and raise your offspring in your beliefs that you will eventually change the country and eventually the world to what you believe to be right. Its retarded and its basically what the mormons have been doing since the 1800's.

Anywayz (i got a bit sidetracked) I found the church to be fascinating on a psychological level and had developed an interest of psychology a couple of years before i joined so another added benefit. I find it interesting that when i say i go to the mormon church that they automatically assume im mormon when in fact i go for the pure fascination of it and to be around people that are in their own intelligent way are people that im glad to know.

Last year i was finally able to land some work in financial services and we work in a warm market. we dont do cold calling and are always looking to talk to certain people. such as own a home, car, have a job, married with kids, and are of a certain age. this pretty much describes the typical mormon. when i got into finance i honestly felt that the only reason i joined the church was so i would have a market list to work with. the universe works in mysteries ways. when i got into finance i was also told that it would be good to get on facebook so i would have a social network and so as i like to say my brothers negativity begot my enthusiasm for the church begot working in finance begot facebook begot what i was seeking in the first place and thats people to have a conversation with that actually has meaning. so here i am typing this out. lol

o.k. I think that about covers it for now...

artie

Art Holmes Merry Month o' June 9 roundabouts 10:25 in the mornin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

sorry about the language :( didnt read this before i sent it lol. i originally wrote this to a girl i knew in high school who grew up jehovah witness so my language alters depending on who im writing to.

Molly Mormon Merry Month o' June 9 roundabouts 11:52 in the mornin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

You're not offending with language. No worries there. Looking forward to you other reply. Church for networking??? Feel different now?

Art Holmes

facebook is a huge help with not having to stereo type people that i would pre-judge on a molly mormon level and keeping in contact with former missionaries and other democratic mormons from various other facebook pages. theres an intersting page i joined awhile back thats about not being an uneducated molly mormon.

after a year of going to church almost constantly i was away from it for about 6 months it was a bit of overkill for me and then brought back in for reasons that i described in my conversion story. so now my attendance is somewhat constant but i do skip from time to time.

Art Holmes Merry Month o' June 9 roundabouts 4:59 in the evenin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

im glad that you didnt take me as attacking you for your beliefs. im going to be calling out some people in this for context. the bishop might take this as 'murmuring' and being disrespectful but its just my opinion and how i feel about certain issues. if i wanted to attack somone for their beliefs pam brumble is the one that would come to mind. ill be discussing why in detail a little later.

a few questions i wanted to ask about your upbringing and your family being very non mormon is how is your relationship with them today? the first sister missionary i talked with before i joined had a similiar problem with her family and they were not for her converting to mormonism so i would imagine it must have been difficult. another thing i dont get with your family is if they are heavy democrats why vote for mccain???? im assuming they would be up on the issues and surely why would they want more of the same of what they got the previous 8 years. the only real reason i can see voting republican is if your making at least 6 figures a year and had qualified for bush's tax cuts otherwise that one goes into the twilight zone of WTF????

what suprised me about your response is your level of curiosity. it seems to me that having a very questioning and curious nature is not exactly a good fit for being a good mormon. this may be the reason why i was assigned the topic following the wisdom of the living prophet as my talk.
what questions do you find yourself asking now about the church?

the main question about your conversion is at what moment did you believe 100% in the church? there had to be that oprah a-ha moment when you believed this was the one true church.

onto obama and his idealism. the word hope comes to mind. also bush's idealogy based on his religion instead of what made logical sense based on the human condition. this is what i would consider to be the greatest evil in our world. religion ironicly enough. i mean pre-emptive war? God told me to run for president? with obama idieology it reminds of my einstein quote from my talk about how do u see the world. do you see it a world of people hating and killing each other cause if that what you see then thats what you will create for yourself in your life. bush did a phenominal job of putting oil on fire after 9/11. or do you see the world from the perspective of 'hope'?

bauwing to a king is a sign of respect and its the custom. kind of like hand holding with the saudi's. i dont see it as a sort of 'i am a man hear me roar' i am superior thing. the discovery channel or similiar channel had a documentary on this weekend about the science of body language. watch it if you get a chance. they do this run down about what politicians are saying through their gestures its really fascinating. if bush had known certain things about the iraqi people and their customs and had known that there was a potential civil war brewing would he have went to war? the movie W. goes into this and they are very fair to colin powell who comes off as only sane one in the room who ever served in a war as opposed to cheney and bush who between them had something like 15 deferrments to vietnam. i do believe we would have went to war with iraq regardless of 9/11. for one bin lauden and sadam hated each other, no weapons of mass destruction. even tho sadam said he had them it was his way of saying 'i am man hear me roar' to make iran feel unsafe and to make iraq seem more powerful than they were and cause they were iraq's enemy and now iran is more of a threat to america without sadam. sadam had nothing to do with 9/11. the 2000 election bush hinted at iraq and in clintons book 'my life' he talks about bush's change over period and asking clinton about iraq almost exclusively. and what i really dont get is bush pulling the weapon inspectors out of iraq early instead of letting them do their job.

my pet goat refers to what bush was doing when the planes hit on 9/11. he was in florida at an elementary school reading this book to children there and was told that the second plan had hit. he then sat there for almost 8 minutes. now one can argue he didnt want to leave and upset the children but on the other it goes in the WTF? category. nancy pelosi described something similiar after she had tried to talk to bush after katrina hit and what she felt from him she described as a reaction of being out of his element and scary.

Molly Mormon T'day upon the hour of 11:31 in the morning in the foul year of our lord 2009

My relationship with my family is weird. I am the white sheep in black family....on my moms side at least. My dad's side is pretty accepting of everone. My mother was not happy about my baptism, but went to it. My dad was okay with it, but didn't go. He doesn't like crowds. which I understood. I come home from the 2nd discussion and he asked me I was baptised yet and said no but that I was going to be. He then told me that he figured it was either the catholics that had it to begin with or the mormons that had it restored. So either way any religion had to be better than none at all so he was glad that I was picking one. I had a few aunt who emailed me and said that I was joining a cult that didn't realize that we were really fallowing satan....

The one cousin that is VERY democrate voted for McCain because she feel Obama is not experienced enough. She was VERY pro-Hilary. AND Kris and said that if she got elected we were going to move from the country.

I think that my curiosity is what got me involved in the church. AND I also believe that we are thaught in church to seek truth. The questions that I find myself asking now are things more on the lines of gaing more scriputre knowledge....my kids know more and remember more than me.
Them moment that I believe 100% in the church is hard to decribe...it was right after the first lesson. I HAD to know more. I had been searching for a couple of years at different churchs with my family and I had my own opinion of how things were. From what I was learning most things fit into my idea of what was right. Joseph Smith and resoration was a new thing for me....but I knew everything else was true...if that is how it came about then so be it.

I do HOPE with all my heart that Obama can live up to his HOPE and I think that my people are blinded by the HOPE. He a great BBQ neighboor like guy...do I want him running the contry...nope.

I don't understand a lot of what happened under the Bush adminitration and don't pretend to. So cute reading to elemetary kids. Love iT!

I don't recall Pams earth day post. I have seen Inconveniet Truth....he had on Oprah one day (BTW quoting Oprah... Ah ha moment...great Art). I didn't say that I believed in, but I do realize that SOMETHING is going on. Just so you know Pam and I are buds. She out of anyone is one that I agree with the most. She seems to know be as Molly Mormon as most of the ward. AND is histarical. We have same sence of humor and things. The kissing thing on her blog....think about it.....tongues touching, it is gross. If you think of it in the moment...gag. BUT of course it is part of life. Do I think that a kids of 6 should want to do it. NO. They will learn soon enough. Heck I have had to have THE talk with my 8 year old.

No I don't think that we should have universal health care. Do you know how bad the canadians are taxed, and how LONG you have to wait to get medical treatment for life threatening things? I have worked at a hospital for 6 years, it WILL ruin things. Not that I know a lot about it. I do think the medical stuff cost way to much, and that we need to realize that Doctors are humuns. My favorite OB had to retire because his malpractice ins. alone every year was $60,000. The ins. company payed out $25,000 just for my last pregnancy and delivery, 7 years ago it was $10,000. There is something wrong with a system that increases the same thing by $15,000 in that amount of time. I should say that the last preganacy was $29,000....I am still paying on the $4,000 of my part. I think that the government is already involved in too manythings. I took a political quiz on facebook and it told me I was an anacrist......which I don't agree with.

I did watch Fox news for the first time last night because your mention of it. I hated the guy that was on the acor at the time. Don't recall his name. THE church is not hateful.....some of the members may have been. This hole Prop-8 thing.....just another sign of the times for me. Will it gets passes ago to have gay marriage legalized...yes it will. Should it me....no it shouldn't. This isn't a civil rights matter. They already have the same right that I do....they CAN get married to someone of the opposite sex. Apparently this subject is one that is close to heart for both of us....maybe we shouldn't go there.

About little kids giving there testimony.....MY kids are the ones that are up there every month. I find it a great thing to do. You are right they don't know at this time. In our home I teach them that they need to seek things out on there own. Right now they are riding on the testimony of Kris and I, but there will come a time in there life that they will either be forced, or do so by choice, but they will have to gain there own testimony. Kris and I don't give our testimonies in the I KNOW fashion, my kids using those exact words was by their choice and what they have seen others do.

My kids are not allowed to do things on Sundays. My favorite day of the week used to be Sunday. We we would all go to church together, do dinner as a family, have guest over. Enjoy a relaxing day together focused on us. Kris now works Sunday nights so we come home from church and he goes to bed and to get just a few hours of sleep. I miss our Sundays together. That is the one day with life how it is that we CAN do things together and have yes, a typical Mormon Sunday. My husband is a huge Bears fan, games are on Sunday so he doesn't go to those. He also grew up playing football for 12 years, and then Rugby and wants our sons to play and Drew really wants to play himself, but not on a Sunday. Do I have this huge testimony of Keeping the Sabbath day holy. I can't say that I do, but I do know that life is better for us when we do. That I feel better, and if that is the only thing that I get from that will be enough for me to do it.

I feel awful that you have a hard time with some people. I like the Webbs, I don't know them well but what I do know I like. You not being able to be yoursef around them is your issue not theirs. It might be helpful to let go of some of your own issues and not blame it on them. Kris, do you know him well? He is so far from Peter Presthood and doesn't feel like there is anyone in the ward that he can be buddy buddy with and missed our old ward terriablly.

The movie the best 2 years. I loved it. It had a lot of mormon humor in it, I understand that it was so not going to win picture of the year, and that it was not hte best acting, but I think that is what made me like it even more.

I hope that my answers don't come acrss as harsh as they probably do, but my oh so cute kids needs some of attention....and so does the floor now that they have squirted juice all over it and each other. Again, not attacking just felt like I had to defend. AND I am hoping that it wasn't your intention to put me that position. Sorry. I just feel really weird about your post.

Art Holmes T'day upon the hour of 11:48 in the mornin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

ill try to write in more detail later. im really going to have to ponder on this one. cause its a lot closer to what i expected with your previous post which really suprised me.

Art Holmes T'day upon the hour of 12:00 in the evenin' in the foul year of our lord 2009

i've pondered it and the only question i have at the moment is how do u define molly mormon and peter priesthood? and how do u differ from that definition?

* and then she was gone forever never to be heard from again but the beat goes on

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Courage in the face of social suicide


Most of this is taken from a facebook note I did about a month before I escaped the island of the cheese wiz utopia and slightly updated so forgive the lack of punctuation, I wasn't much of a fan back then:

March 23, 2010 at 8:43 a.m.

yesterday church offered up yet another speech on the sanctity of marriage. and of course how courageous it is for mormons to stand up for what they believe in. but when i think of courage this is a much more stellar example. u can basically judge someones level of courage by the amount of social suicide they are willing to risk:



As can be seen in the video. A Mormon steps up during a "Testimony Meeting" at his church in which Mormons typically make unsubstantiated claims such as "I know this is church is true" (honesty anyone?) but instead this Mormons speaks out against Prop 8 and is then invited to get off the podium.

Partial transcript:
===================
I would like to take a moment to reflect on some serious issues that have deeply affected my life and how the holy spirit is guiding me here in front of you good people today.

I have never felt the spirit so strongly in 40 years as a latter day saint. I have supported this church and its teachings and the gospel of Jesus Christ all of my life and even did some missionary work among my own family members who have been reluctant to be baptized due to certain policies of this institution.

After last years controversial election my eyes were opened wide to the nature of the leaders of this church and its political agenda specifically to take away rights from my [unintelligible] that worked hard to get them.

(video edit)

Brothers and sisters when I found out how much money this church and its members had contributed to the passing of prop 8 it disturbed me a great deal. It made me realize I had been a hypocrite to so many friends and family members and I needed to re-evaluate who I am and what institution I belong to.

I am grateful today to the ******* family for adopting me and loving me unconditionally in every aspect of the word. I am literally ashamed and embarrassed as a latter day saint of this church and how it has used its influence to provoke good people into donating its hard-earned money toward hating another group of people under the false pretense, in my opinion, of protecting the sanctity of marriage.

(Bishop rises in the background and in so many words informs the speaker that his testimony is not wanted and turns off the speaker system in an attempt to force him into silence.)

What remains I can't hear well enough. If anyone else can then send me your transcript. Thanks.

The LDS MORMONS don't want GAY PEOPLE around them they might get contaminated.

"We do not intend to admit to our campus any homosexuals. If any of you have this tendency and have not completely abandoned it, may I suggest that you leave the university immediately after this assembly...We do not want others on this campus to be contaminated by your presence." (Ernest Wilkinson, president of Brigham Young University, in a 1965 lecture to the BYU student body, titled: "Make Honor your Standard.")

(Gays) are probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of...They're the meanest buggers I have ever seen." Utah State Senator(and twice-LDS bishop) Chris Buttars, 2009

"The only marriage sanctioned by God is of a man to a woman. In the case of a gay person, they really have no hope. And to live life without hope on such a core issue I think is a very difficult thing." Marlin Jensen, official LDS historian.

"I do not find in the Bible the modern terms "petting" nor "homosexuality," yet I found numerous scriptures which forbade such acts under by whatever names they might be called. I could not find the term "homosexuality," but I did find numerous places where the Lord condemned such a practice with such vigor that even the death penalty was assessed."
-Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, "Love Versus Lust", BYU Speech January 5, 1965.

This is a piece I found (not sure where?) about the psychological mind control that is so prevalent in the mormon religion and dare I say organized religion as a whole and my own notes as it pertains to the reality of the video and my own experiences and what our humble speaker is trying to convey: 

DR. ROBERT J. LIFTON'S CRITERIA FOR THOUGHT REFORM

(BRIEF OUTLINE)

1. MILIEU CONTROL the most basic feature is the control of human communication within and environment if the control is extremely intense, it becomes internalized control -- an attempt to manage an individual's inner communication control over all a person sees, hears, reads, writes (information control)

*for example cutting off the mike in the above link

2. MYSTICAL MANIPULATION (Planned spontaneity) extensive personal manipulation seeks to promote specific patterns of behavior and emotion in such a way that it appears to have arisen spontaneously from within the environment, while it actually has been orchestrated totalist leaders claim to be agents chosen by God, history, or some supernatural force, to carry out the mystical imperative the "principles" (God-centered or otherwise) can be put forcibly and claimed exclusively, so that the cult and its beliefs become the only true path to salvation (or enlightenment)...

*glen beck is right cause he's a mormon your're wrong because your you

3. THE DEMAND FOR PURITY the world becomes sharply divided into the pure and the impure, the absolutely good (the group/ideology) and the absolutely evil (everything outside the group) one must continually change or conform to the group "norm" tendencies towards guilt and shame are used as emotional levers for the group's controlling and manipulative influences once a person has experienced the totalist polarization of good/evil (black/white thinking), he has great difficulty in regaining a more balanced inner sensitivity to the complexities of human morality the radical separation of pure/impure is both within the environment (the group) and the individual ties in with the process of confession -- one must confess when one is not conforming

*the above link being a great counter example of this or what i heard in church sunday with black and white thinking. being gay is evil and we MUST eradicate it. with no regard for the secondary and tirtchiary effects it has. tipping the prop 8 cause into the very definition of evil, intolerance and what hitler would call a final solution. in this case labeled prop 8 or what dubya would call an amendment to the constitution because its just an amendment.

4. CONFESSION cultic confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious, legal and therapeutic expressions to the point of becoming a cult in itself sessions in which one confesses to one's sin are accompanied by patterns of criticism and self-criticism, generally transpiring within small groups with an active and dynamic thrust toward personal change is an act of symbolic self-surrender makes it virtually impossible to attain a reasonable balance between worth and humility...

*feeling guilty for not being a republican, country music mclovin', disney watching, homophobe

5. SACRED SCIENCE the totalist milieu maintains an aura of sacredness around its basic doctrine or ideology, holding it as an ultimate moral vision for the ordering of human existence questioning or criticizing those basic assumptions is prohibited a reverence is demanded for the ideology/doctrine, the originators of the ideology/doctrine, the present bearers of the ideology/doctrine offers considerable security to young people because it greatly simplifies the world and answers a contemporary need to combine a sacred set of dogmatic principles with a claim to a science embodying the truth about human behavior and human psychology

*al gore is a tree huggin' satanist

6. LOADING THE LANGUAGE the language of the totalist environment is characterized by the thought-terminating cliche (thought-stoppers) repetitiously centered on all-encompassing jargon "the language of non-thought" words are given new meanings -- the outside world does not use the words or phrases in the same way -- it becomes a "group" word or phrase

*in church sunday there was a talk i think maybe the same one about the sanctictity of marriage where he talked about 'whoa is me' or something. talk about a loaded word. i got a major joey lawrence flashback. fortunately the church giggles never came cause i may have been on the verge of puking. but WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, or however u spell it. damn right (or left????)

7. DOCTRINE OVER PERSON every issue in one's life can be reduced to a single set of principles that have an inner coherence to the point that one can claim the experience of truth and feel it the pattern of doctrine over person occurs when there is a conflict between what one feels oneself experiencing and what the doctrine or ideology says one should experience if one questions the beliefs of the group or the leaders of the group, one is made to feel that there is something inherently wrong with them to even question -- it is always "turned around" on them and the questioner/criticizer is questioned rather than the questions answered directly...

*this 1 really pisses me off cause there is nothing like asking someone that you really like and care abouta ? and all u get is a theological response and not an authentic answer. (see previous post: How to get someone to delete you in 8 minutes) even if you ask the same ? 10 different ways to sunrise (or sunset???) u never get an authentic real heartfelt response from them. the only good thing i ever get from something like this is knowing that the tear ducts r still capable of doing their job.

8. DISPENSING OF EXISTENCE since the group has an absolute or totalist vision of truth, those who are not in the group are bound up in evil, are not enlightened, are not saved, and do not have the right to exist "being verses nothingness" impediments to legitimate being must be pushed away or destroyed one outside the group may always receive their right of existence by joining the group fear manipulation -- if one leaves this group, one leaves God or loses their transformation, for something bad will happen to them the group is the "elite", outsiders are "of the world", "evil", "unenlightened", etc.

*al gore is still a tree huggin' satanist, barack is the anti-christ, the world is in its final days, jesus will come back any second, be fruitful and multiply A LOT, and less than 5 kids makes u a major underachiever and unworthy to share your husband in eternity with hundred if not thousands of other sister wives to populate your godly husbands planetoid

MORMONISM AND THE DOUBLE BIND

The following link is amazing piece on the psychological impact on the mormon brain and the damage it does to people in the religion, and especially being born into the religion. For me, when I read this it was like swallowing the red pill, a big ass red pill, and explained so well why I was feeling so conflicted with who I am as an authentic person and what mormonism does to that authenticity.


Mormonism and the Double Bind

*or how i stopped feeling guilty and learned to love myself again

Life Before Mount Super Fabulous and the death of Empathy

This is originally from a Facebook note I had written just after moving into the Balantine Plaza after having stayed at The Rotary House on Skid Row for three months in February of 2011. Forgive the misuse of punctuation, I didn't care for it that much back then:

March 18, 2011 at 6:25 p.m.

This week was a week of putting off things i must do till the end of the week which in retrospect worked out really well.

So I'm writing this note cause it was originally a status update but i figured it was more important in this note format.

Going back to last week's failure of utter disbelieve i shall recap:

Having moved into the balantine plaze in downtown l.a. i am now on board and care. i still dont know why? except thats the way the mop flops for artie. this means no more food stamps and no more general relief. apparently i receive some kind of pittance after 45 days of residency which (i was told) will amount to 100 bucks a month. a far step down from the 420 and some change from the social services people and boy do i miss that. so this sacrifice has got me into a better living situation. for sure and it right on the outskirts of skid row. basically the block before u go right into the hub of where it all goes down.

skid row is a very contained area. apparently it used to go all the way to freakin broadway. WTF? i cant even imagine that. WOW and HOLY SHIT that must have been a nightmare. but now its like a 4 block radius thing with everything centrally located.

Now going back to this 45 day no money thing.

My first thought was how in the world am I going to pay my cell bill? its due the end of this month. 50 bucks a month. totally doable with my social service pittance. but now i have no social service pittance. so it comes to me in a flash of brilliant white light. I KNOW!!!! plazma. of course. plazma. brilliant.

so i go to plazma and they tell me need proof of residence. WTF? the address on the I.D. card not good enough :/ o.k. i come back the next day. i use my last address cause it was the only mail i had and they say this address is not good enough. its on our not so super fabulous list. come back when ur more fabulous :/ o.k. so now i have to score a piece of 'official' mail for this place and go back and see if i'm super fabulous cause according to skid row housing and trust i am too fabulous to qualify for their SRO program???? i mean WTF?

yes i got rejected for SRO cause when i moved into the balantine when i got on board and care it officially took me off being homeless so the skid row housing and trust people said your too super fabulous for us please go away and good luck. which brings me back to plazma and wondering if my address is now good enough for them. so i guess we shall wait and c about that.  i mean WTF? i got the application almost a month before i got into the balantine got my three referance signatures, my verification of income, i.d., social security card, tb test, and im good and then they say im not homeless. what kind of homeless person on the skid row even has all that shit. believe me if your on the streets im willing to bet several nickles and a dime bag you do not have all those. fuckers

it was not what i would call a super fabulous week except that my v.a. case worker gave me a couple of job leads which went like this

lead number 1:
call us back on the 28th to schedule an appointment for april :/

lead number 2:
come in monday at 8 a.m. :)

so this week was pretty much getting into the routine of the balantine

6 a.m. is breakfast and it super fabulous. i mean really outstanding

eggs and cereal and chocolate milke, and orange juice, and passion fruit juice, and fruit and its really glorious. the thing that sucks about it is 6 a.m. WTF???? and its the only meal really worth going to so u have to go to it cause of course that 45 day approval for the 100 bucks a month approval thing of whatever.

lunch sucks. sack fucking lunch. its the same as the last place i was at cause they cater to the same fucking people. definately a lowest bidder influence going on there which of course makes sense since i sacrificed food stamp money for this. subway every freakin day. i miss it very much. plus to add another insult. NO FREAKIN' JUICE???? its actually a step down from rotary house

dinner is a very small step up from rotary house but like tonight it was just nasty. if i ever have another fish mash meal again it will b too soon before another friday night gets here

so after breakfast i end up going back to sleep till at least 10 a.m. usually because i dont get to sleep till like 12 a.m and the whole 6 a.m. breakfast is really throwing things off. sometimes i sleep till 11 a.m. or 12 or 1 tho it depends whats going on that day.

next week i actually have appointments monday, wednesday, and thursday so im hoping next week goes well cause last week was incredibly dissapointing with the plazma rejection and not having the super fabulous address and then the SRO rejection cause my address was too super fabulous.

so this week i didnt really do shit monday tuesday wednesday. yesterday i called my 2 job leads and then today i did my once a week mandatory v.a. case worker update and would u believe it took ALL DAY??????

i go in the morning give my update and she sais we need to update resume. o.k. so she works on it. FOR AN HOUR. sais come back at 3:30. fine. of course when i get it their are misspellings and misprints and what does that sentence even mean. of course she was reluctant to change it. its the end of the day on a friday and she should be gone for the weekend and im holding her up plus i need bus tokens for monday and wednesday and i need copies of my resume and cover letter and of course she was working with someone else and it also took forever to get the number to the v.a. in west los angeles cause i have an appointment on thursday but no clue what its about and she had no clue about the whole board and care thing which i figured was common knowledge with them but NOOOOO. anywayz what i thought was a kick ass case worker is only a mear human and it was dissappointing. but FINALLY i got done what needed to be done and my week has thus ended well.

now with all that purged the reason i wrote this note in the first place.

feelings

yay. we finally got here. good for artie and great for you tho your only allowed to read this if you'll still respect me in the morning

where did they go these feelings and empathy for the common lacky of slime central? i noticed this walking to the v.a. case workers office today. now that im at the balantine i have to walk through skid row the real hub of it all to get to her office which is right across the street from the union mission. those of you who have seen michael moores 'sicko' will recall the union mission towards the end of the movie where they dropped off that lady who had no health insurance. this is my main thought every week when i sit down with my case worker and see the front doors of the union mission staring right back at me

now yesterday i had to walk thru skid row on 5th street past the los angeles mission cause i was going to do the case worker update yesterday but i got there just as they were closing so no beuno for artie. what made it worse tho was the moment i got to that corner that the l.a. mission is on a woman walks right past me with fresh blood running down her face. now this believe it or not is actually a common occurrence. if this happened in the bumblefuck wisconsin. i would be concerned. here my thought is . . .

hmmmm
and just keep on walking

now u must remember this is not bumblefuck wisconsin. los angeles has this bizarre twilight zone thing here called sidewalk traffic. and there is a shitload of it in the downtown area.

now as far as the hub of skid row the rule is to keep walking. you walk past someone whos bleeding, keep walking, guy just got slashed and looks like a mess, keep walking. now 9 times out of 10 these things happen due to a drug deal gone bad or they had it comin. i have heard stories of random bullshit happening to innocent people but with how many ever millions of people in los angeles thats just to be expected.

but what surprised me today is that walking through the shit and piss and the hub of the midnight mission i really dont care for these people and it concerns me.

i think its because if u really wanna get your life on track skid row is your best option probably in america as a whole. every program to help you is right here. if your on the streets here in downtown l.a. thats just pathetic. if your going to live on the streets. do it in style. go to venice beach. but of course thats the thing about skid row. u can be homeless on the street and have everything you need. which is where im sure the feeling of not caring comes from. you have at least 3 missions that serve meals 3 times a day and however many more there are not including the people who will set up shop with their street meals which is very illegal unless you have a permit. god bless those baby republican jesus people for being enablers and the people who give away shit all the freakin time with clothes and whatever else you can imagine.

call me a heartless bastard but i honestly dont give a fuck about the curb creatures of skid row. now if your homeless in beloit wisconsin. different story entirerly. i mean thats fucking homeless. especially when you a healthy male in your prime with no kids its a nightmare trying to get anyone to help you. and the last thing you want to do is join the mormon church in your thirties because you think it will be a good networking opportunity.

anywayz just wanted to share and purge. feel better and more hopeful about life in general even if that horrible fish mash makes me wanna upchuck and die. life for all its worth will always be super fabulous from now on and im dealing with a lot less bullshit than i would be dealing with if i was back in the land of the cheese wiz utopia.

i just really miss my subway :(

artie

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Blow off - Hollywood's cruelest tactic and the lament of your humble narrator

I've been blown off twice in the land with the big fancy sign. I remember them very specifically and yet I'm not even sure if the people involved are aware that they even did it or how degrading it felt to have been on the receiving end of such a blow off. Perhaps, it sais more about them that it does about me and it's not entirely fair that you only get my one sided account of such matters but if there is one thing about this industry that I CANNOT STAND it's the blow off.



I will paint you the pictures:

Last year, my school, mount super fabulous, hosted a film festival, a film festival that will remain nameless as I refuse to promote it or the person who created it based on the moral and ethical principle that is of my own soul making.

This inaugural festival took place on a Saturday. A rainy Saturday. A Saturday I had to walk from downtown, take the red line from 7th and metro to Hollywood and Vine

and then walk the rest of the way, in the rain, without busting my ass on the likes of
Julia Louis Dreyfus, 

Frank Sinatra,












and George Carlin

Of course, I had no umbrella cause I am but a lowly beyond poor student. But more on this status of hopelessness hapeless loser later as it will be of the utmost relevance at that time.

So I get to mount super fabulous,

on a Saturday, without having fallen on the star of Clive Davis (although he may have like it had I did) soaked and take my seat

and proceed to spend my entire Saturday watching short films. Most of them starring this person, or produced by this person, or somehow was involved with the making of most of the short films I saw that day, and there were A LOT of them. And I thought to myself, this person is really impressive and I must know this person, and this person seemed really nice on the day and was grateful that I showed up and I couldn't wait to send them a request for friendship on the facebook.

Only one problem. I was in facebook jail yet again (See previous note: Facebook jail and other signs of the coming Apocalypse) and I wouldn't be out for almost a month. So I waited and waited and then FINALLY!!! I was able to send the sacred request for friendship and start to build up correspondence mileage and thinking this is going to be great and then of course I noticed a week later that it had been

DENIED!!!

O.K.

So it probably just means they had no clue who I was cause I probably didn't send a message along with it cause that is a major fault of my own laziness and then I pretty much forgot about them until March of this year when Mount Super Fabulous held their inaugural Alumni Association event and low and behold there the Facebook reject-or person is. And I was really freakin' nervous even approaching them but it was one of those situations where I had to do it cause I really wanted to know how they put together that Film Festival and just when I got the courage to ask, when it seemed they had a mere moment of I can actually talk to this person time, their reaction was that I was basically interrupting them from talking to someone a lot more super fabulous than myself as they proceeded to walk off to do just that.

I did manage to ask, how did you put that film festival together cause you had talked about it taking a year, and they said

yeah,

and how did you go about booking the theater?

and told me

to just book the theater through so and so and it wasn't that difficult and good luck.

So me expecting a real conversation that could have lasted at least 5 minutes lasted about 5 seconds and I never felt more insignificant at Mount Super Fabulous than in that moment.

Now ironically with someone like Kevin Smith who is uber famous and has to be what I consider to be very successful that guy actually made me feel like a peer and that was incredible moment to have gone from such a fan to now I'm in the same business as he is, and we're all in it together, and his view of his fellow filmmakers and collaborators couldn't have been more opposite from what I had experienced just a few months earlier with this person who made me feel so insignificant.

Of course, 10 minutes later, I would go on to win my very first Joe Byron pen, but after this very brief encounter I was no longer a fan of this person, and really felt that they were more out for themselves and what can you do for me than what someone whom i know would call the networking process as 'making friends' instead of the 'what can you do for me' philosophy.

I mean for me this business really is about relationship mileage and then the opportunities will come because that person likes you as a human being first and then have the skill set as a secondary. Basically it's who you know, not what you know, but what you know will keep you there. I certainly prefer to work with people with this mindset and it's still surprising to me that pros in the industry embrace this philosophy as well and how important relationship mileage is here.

But woe to those moments when you realize that the person you really want to get to know has no intention of reciprocation and is viewing you as someone who is blocking their path to the big executive with decades in the industry.

I get this feeling sometimes on Facebook when I promote someone and then they will like that I promoted their project but it's the only time they will go on my Facebook to actually like anything so I'm always blown away by the pros in this business who go the extra mile after  you've promoted to really reach out to you and reciprocate. So it's a really good way to know who would be good to work with and who you might want to avoid.

But back to this person who shall not be named. . .

I would see this person again a few months later because their film festival was being held at Mount Super Fabulous again, this time I would see them at a foreign film screening, and they made a short speech about their upcoming film festival, and if you have any questions come see me after the screening. Of course, me naively thinking they were going to actually stay and watch the movie with us left 5 minutes after it started and then nowhere to be found after.

So once the festival was publicly scheduled in the Mount Super Fabulous newsletter I did everything I could to get the promo code for it cause I was not going to pay 20 dollars for this thing when the previous year I had gotten in for free for being a student. And for damn near two months I tried to get the powers that be to get me that code and FINALLY!! on the last day before it started they sent me it cause they had to get this person to create one. And then I couldn't go cause that weekend I came down with a horrid cold.

So for those of you who are fans of the blow off I guess that's what you would call Karmic justice or something???

That was my first real experience at being blown off in this land with the big fancy sign and still I'm not sure if they are even aware that had blown me off to such a degree that now I will not utter their name or promote their film festival and I am hardcore when it comes to promoting other people's organizations. But as far as organizations you actually belong to the second time I had gotten the blow off was from someone I totally would not have expected it from.

Now this person had done a damn good interview with Gale Ann Hurd the month before and was the go to person for one on one interviews with land with the big fancy sign big wigs at these monthly meetings. So of course I go up to her and compliment here on it the following month and ask her if she would be interested in being a part of the upcoming radio show I'm working on and it turns out she had zero interest in anything I had to say about it and to go up and talk to the main guest and to basically not be afraid to do so like I was the biggest wuss on planet earth and that I was basically a young lost puppy that 'they' had no interest in talking to.

Now this could all be my imagination and thinking that this organization was basically created to further the careers of the board members and really weren't interested in dealing with people that they would feel are beneath them to work with in any type of capacity. I could be so wrong about that, and really wish that I am but then today,

I had the nerve to ask about the 5 dollar fee they are now charging to attend their monthly meetings and who am I to ask?

and that I might has well farted in their office for even asking in the first place?

Here is the conversation thread verbatim that unfortunately ended way too early:

art holmes:

Is there a promo code I can get for this since I don't have a car and I always walk to these?


conservative/religious/too patriotic? person:

The event is $5 to attend, for all members, and this has nothing to do with parking a car.
Make sense?
Thanks,


art holmes:

Where does the 5 dollars go to?

CR & too patriotic? P:

Art,

As with any event, there are a myriad of costs and overhead. If youve put on an event before you can likely appreciate this.

If you do not feel the event is worth $5, you are not required to attend, and you can still take advantage of the free things VFT offers such as the facebook group and new website.

Thanks,

Most normal people would have ended it right there but of course I'm Art Holmes and cannot help myself:

Art Holmes:

What's involved with the overhead costs and the other factors involved?

If I have a clearer understanding why we are paying a fee and why it's justified I can then relay this information to other veterans students who have wondered the same thing when I have found myself in this conversation over the months.

In the past, I was under the belief that it was for parking and I was fine with that and defended that. For a student to have to pay five dollars of which equates to a week's worth of bus fare it would be helpful as to why the week's worth of bus fare is worth the sacrifice, when previously the only explanation for implementing a fee was due to the high flake factor and therefore I had felt like it was some sort of mass punishment for the incompetence of others.

Seriously conservative and way too patriotic:

VFT is an exclusive group youve been accepted to, not a right. Like any product, if you are unhappy you can choose not to support it.

Overhead includes parking lot attendant, security, bar staff, venue, insurance...just to name a few, and that's just for a single event. 

It's quite frustrating to pour thousands of our personal dollars in to what we've crafted to be VFT and thousands of hours only to have certain people question the opportunities we provide at the absolute lowest, mostly free, price.

Please maintain a positive attitude, do not make negative assumptions, and be grateful for opportunities that are offered to you.

Does this make sense to you, Art?

Art Holmes:

Yes, except for what you are perceiving to be negative assumptions? When I am trying to get clarity on an issue that has come up in conversation over the months when an entry fee had not been established from the onset of VFT but has been a gradual implementation over the months. This way I can have legitimate talking points in the future when this issue is brought up with other veteran students.

Please point out all negative assumptions that I have made so I can address them to provide better clarity as to my intent.

As an Entertainment Business student with classes coming up in Event Planning I am actually interested in these costs, especially if it's going to services I'm not using such as parking and the bar which is an additional expense for those who partake and the justification of a fee that was first implemented to deter the L.A. flake factor.

I'm not exactly sure how an interest in these things translates into being ungrateful and negative? But then again, I totally understand it from a very conservative religious perspective and questioning how things actually work.
_______________________________

So that was it and no response and like I had felt previously stated and had felt there was no intention there of enlightening a humble student as to the inner workings of how an organization that is very helpful to those in this land of the big fancy sign and have the ability to navigate the networking politics within it actually works on a monetary level.

Also, I was very confused as to why the very first response had stated that the fee had nothing to do with parking but the first thing that 'they' listed in the overhead was for a parking attendant? I'm a really big fan of consistency and professionalism and I hadn't realized two very important things when I initially asked about the fee.

First thing was that I had been under the assumption for months that this was only for parking so I figured I would be able to get a promo code because I knew someone who actually was successful in getting one when they had mentioned the same dilemma.

The second assumption that was incorrect was that I actually thought asking where the entry fee goes to was actually a legitimate question. So my first two responses were actually two strikes against me. Now I had found myself in a similiar situation back when I was in the Recording School when we were given individual projects to do and I always finished ahead of everyone else so instead of sitting there for ten to twenty minutes waiting for everyone to finish I would jump on the Facebook until one day the instructor was like, NO FACEBOOK IN THE CLASSROOM!!!, so I then mistakenly tried to explain that I was finished and actually being productive, but before I finished explaining this I got another, NO FACEBOOK IN THE CLASSROOOM!!!,

so

BAM!!!

that's two strikes against me in the span of 10 seconds with an instructor and so at that point I just closed the lap top and twiddled my thumbs for 10 minutes. Still not a fan of that instructor. Of all the instructors I've had there are only two that I'm not fans of. The only other time I had an issue with an instructor was when I was trying to get my current grade and it was damn near impossible so everyday I would ask and finally he just got really annoyed at me cause apparently my excitement at life in general was too much for him but anywayz. . .

Perhaps it can be argued that I was out of line comparing the response to that of which I had experienced in organized religion when you really start to question how things actually work?

And yet I'm still confused why asking how the money is spent was so offensive to even ask when your a member of said organization? But that's the way mop flops.

On a much more positive note I was able to get a much more respectful reply about this later in the day and thus proving my previous points on how important relationship mileage is and having a mutual respect for each other is in this town.