I HATE FRIDAYS!!! It's like death wrapped up as fabulousness

I am not a fan of Fridays. I really used to love them like 99.99% of the population until the foul year of our lord 2006. This was the last year where I actually held down a full time normal job type job. And then one day I decided to quit this job cause it was like working in Mexico everyday and everyone I was in charge of didn't speak the english and my higher powers all worked in the office and the shop foreman's direct orders were in direct conflict with the office and well it was a nightmare so I quit. Thinking that, oh, I'll get another job, no problemo, and boy was I wrong about that.

So in February of 2006 I had a little bit of savings because I was trying to save up 10 grand so I could move to Madison, cheese wiz utopia and go to school at their Media Institute when I would have been so covered by the G.I. Bill but fear is a strange fish but at the time I was living with my mother and alcholoic bro and her significant other. They had moved in with me due to financial obligations they couldnt meet when my mother had a stroke in 2004 and I needed the financial help as well and it would have been freakin perfekt but my alcholic bro came along with that situation starting in 2005 and it was a year of great financial gain combined with slowly dying on a spiritual level. But, little did I know they would be moving out and leaving me to my own vices in May of 2006 leading to a year of major financial stress. I even joined the mormons in July cause I thought the networking would lead to employment and in the four years I tried the mormon lifestyle it basically just reinforced everything to me that was wrong with organized religion, in that it was organized and I was always going to be viewed as an outsider who didn't belong there.

So, in February of 2007 I'm forced to take in a roommate whom I thought was going to be great and he turned into a major asshole and I found myself moving out 2 weeks after he moved in. For some odd reason he was planning on having his daughter move in when I really don't think that was in her plans and well to this day it's one of the biggest asshole moves I've ever experienced. This was the week of my 32nd Birthday and so I found myself staying at the 1 place in the cheese wiz utopia that was a house/homeless shelter for males with no children called the Sparrow's nest. This was a 30 day homeless house shelter program where basically your supposed to figure 'it' out in four weeks and then maybe 'they' might give you an extension if your figuring 'it' out to their satisfaction but that did not happen. Basically, this was the beginning of the weekday routine for the next three years.

I remember specifically thinking that this was the time that I really need to spend time with my mother and not knowing how long she might be with us due to her stroke in 2004 so basically my day would begin with walking over to my mother's and watching The Golden Girls, Joyce Meyer (which I really liked watching with mother), Frasier (which I really liked), The Price is Right (which I also really liked), Leave it to Beaver, The Munsters (did you know that was filmed on the Hollywood Backlot just like the Desperate Housewives?), Little House on the Prairie, and Cartoon horribleness. Until about 3 in the afternoon and then significant other would get off work so I'd be out of there. Then I would go to the library and get online, donate plasma a couple of times a week so I could actually eat. I had food stamps but I let them expire and you had to go to freakin Rockford to renew them.

Of course, my bro the alchie, was living there as well so mother would wake him up at 11 and then he would do his jeeves thang. He earned his keep by making the meals and generally being an asshole while swimming in the seas of negativity.

The summer of 2007 was pretty much spent at my former neighbors house and then at my schizo friends little place which was a major mental trip of a dead end life and wondering how am I ever gonna get beyond this?? He is way obsessed with his 'Star Wars' and literally A New Hope would be on constant repeat.

My schizo friend gets money from the state for being mentally off so he can't have anyone staying there, especially since the drug pusher person would come every morning to make sure he was taking his meds. I mean it was cool that he let me stay there for a couple of months till my credit with him was completely exhausted and his parents were like 'who is this loser' get him out of here and then my neighbor accusing me of stealing from him and it was just all around a horrible situation.

It was a very interesting time until November and then I found myself pretty much staying with my mother and alchie bro and mother's significant other. This lasted until May of 2010 and really was when I started to dread the weekends.

Because mothers significant other was working a full time job and would be home and trying to be out of there as much as possible was a pain in the ass because the weekends consisted of mother waking me up to make her tea about every 10 minutes, and then the top 20 country music countdown, and then the top 20 country music countdown again on another channel and then freakin NASCAR or some stupid horrible movie on the lifetime channel. So, I would be out of there and at the library by 10 a.m., donate plasma, and then back there by maybe by 5 or so and just dread that moment when significant other would have to decompress all the negative shit in his system directly onto me. This usually occurred around 10:30 on Saturday night. The time when it should be major chill and relax time and not a stressor in the world but since significant other drank the scotch and beer after work as a welder and then during the weekends this was inevitable.

This was when my self-esteem really took major damage and I think it's still something that needs repair. But almost three years of dreading the weekends made me live for Monday's because it lessened the drama of staying there trying to figure out my life that the God person certainly was conspiring against me having. Especially since my credit with my neighbor and my schizo friend was pretty much at zero by the end of 2009 having stayed off on and there for two years.

So this is where becoming a mormon (although I never did it take seriously) came in really handy because this gave me a place to go on Sunday's. Especially since I was also doing the choir, something I actually enjoyed, and my friend who had joined around the same time I did, I would sometimes be out of the house all day. I really wanted to believe in the Mormon philosophy but I'm just not a person who can conform to a religion other than my own.

 I also remember thinking how much the roles had been reversed between me and alchie bro from 2005 and now I was the one sleeping on the couch and he had his own room. It was a very humbling experience.

But, because of these experiences I absolutely HATED FRIDAYS!!!

Especially now that I'm really starting to live my dreams and being in a place that I've always dreamed of being at. Literally, I would have dreams when I was sleeping on my mothers couch of living here, going to the Whiskey A-Go-Go or being at Venice Beach or winning awards with the Clooney so it blows my mind that I've gotten to experience most of that and have had these de-ja-vu type of experiences be it at Venice Beach or the Central Library or being on bus on Wishire going to West L.A.

So to me Fridays are like the beginning of death and nothingness much like what I imagine retirement to be. I mean I understand how we need time to recuperate from the week and catch up on sleep but I still remember very clearly when I was watching the making of 'Easy Rider' back in my military dayz and Peter Fonda was all like FUCK RETIREMENT. I didn't really understand the concept of what he was talking about then but I really understand it now and how having a life that you absolutely love and doing what your supposed to be doing in this life is extremely important.

So now when people are all 'TGIF' to me it says how much you loathe your life and how many people stay in their comfort zone for the illusion of safety and what's expected of you to be one of those so called 'normal' people.

July 1st, 2006

With 3 people who have since deleted me from their Facebook

This video is dedicated to everyone stuck in the pit of the cheese wiz utopia wondering 
what the hell happened???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKhsNLWoCSU&list=FLam_gnmcLZPaufCkd4SLejA

My brother in all his glory